While this seems like an achievement learning 2 new alphabets and 300 kanji characters, it really only means I can read doraemon : A comic aimed at children between the ages of 7 and 10 in Japan, but in keeping with tradition as is a JLPT passing requirements I have to lord over like an obnoxious prick anyone who has a lower level than myself and bear a burning resentful hatred for anyone a level above me.

The test has 4 levels:

Level 4 - Dumb ass, but quite smug, can order a hamburger without flinching at MOS burger.

Level 3 - Has a brain and showing off a bit, level of smugness increasing to phone up KDDI about forgotten phone bill

Level 2 - Subsidised silver spoon company transfer from the states after receiving 6 month intensive course, or academics with aspirations in Asian studies masters as a ruse to sleep with skinny oriental girls.

Level 1 - Chinese. After passing gets a job in a Japanese company and is treated like shit by fellow employees but arranging jobs for 18 cousins from xiangxyon in local service industry OR sordid kanji freak that had no life before they came to Japan who is on a real power trip reaching this level.

In keeping with JLPT recommendations when asked how long it took me to reach this level I'm obligated to say "1 year", though as the level increases I'm obligated to exaggerate further, despite the fact it took me 2 and half years.

i.e.

Level 4 - 6 months intensive while studying my MBA in Asian business at UCLA - was quite tricky.

Level 3 - 3 months, just hanging around bars and talking to people - I sat the test with a hangover.

Level 2 - 1 month - morning intensive course while I was working on my photo blog bumming round Omotesando teaching English on the side - I picked up chicks DURING the exam.

Level 1 - 3 weeks - What ? I'm living in Japan and I'm speaking Japanese !? you dont say !? No way ! I just poppped over, honest I havent been doing a course since I was 8 after school - Did I do a test !? I though I was doing an ancient origami excercise for fun !