We've all been there; Your with your wife, girlfriend, or female friend. They've had a few, there getting to become a handful.

They're beginning to go beyond respectable drunk and going further, the worst there is; yes I'm talking about when a woman gets

"man drunk".

I once heard a man with a lot of sense say:

"A drunk man looks foolish, but a drunk woman looks insane"

There are sure-fire words, actions or phrases that will NOT stop your female company from drinking.

Here are a few that will ensure 100% disaster, fallout, argument and quite possibly a full scale barfight, and woman being dragged into the street showing a bit of her tights or pants with her hair half stuck to her face with vomit.

Now, don't get me wrong, the Japanese Postal service is the most courteous and efficient in the world. They deliver letters to your house at 3 intervals through the day, so effectively you get 3 possible times for delivery in a day.

If you happen to be out at any of these times they will leave a note to say they tried to deliver something, which if you phone within that day up until 7pm they will send a guy out to deliver it to your house whenever you specify (within reason).

This one had to make me laugh a bit though. The sender is marked as "Please do not bend"様 then struck out and an arrow pointing to 外国 - FOREIGN!

Even though it was actually from within Japan, the poor postman, credit to him, gave a go at reading who it was from, carefully wrote it down then probably thought, "That's an odd name... ahhh SHITE  ! Acchh its from someone foreign!"

Made me a chuckle a bit, what if there was a "Mr Please Do not Bend",a kind of very brittle, stiff upright character; unmovable neck, rotating his whole body through life.

Everyday situations being extremely fragile.

"Hey ken I'd like you to meet someone this is Mr Please Do Not Bend, he's from FOREIGN"

"Ah Hi there! Nice to meet you" motions to shake hands.

"DON'T TOUCH HIM HE'LL BREAK !" introducer screams and pulls away hand

"Sorry I should have guessed, My apologies"

You have guests coming for dinner and your making Guacamole but your avocados are hard, WHAT TO DO ?

Other than worrying that "hard avocados" gives you a freudian flash do the following: