about | contact | rss
living  
 
  How to stop a drunk woman

drunk woman.jpgWe've all been there; Your with your wife, girlfriend, or female friend. They've had a few, there getting to become a handful.

They're beginning to go beyond respectable drunk and going further, the worst there is; yes I'm talking about when a woman gets

"man drunk".

I once heard a man with a lot of sense say:

"A drunk man looks foolish, but a drunk woman looks insane"

There are sure-fire words, actions or phrases that will NOT stop your female company from drinking.

Here are a few that will ensure 100% disaster, fallout, argument and quite possibly a full scale barfight, and woman being dragged into the street showing a bit of her tights or pants with her hair half stuck to her face with vomit.


Click here to continue reading this entry...
 
 
Posted by sasqwach at July 12, 2009 9:07 PM | Permalink
 
  Sender: Mr "Please do not bend"

notbend.jpg
Now, don't get me wrong, the Japanese Postal service is the most courteous and efficient in the world. They deliver letters to your house at 3 intervals through the day, so effectively you get 3 possible times for delivery in a day.

If you happen to be out at any of these times they will leave a note to say they tried to deliver something, which if you phone within that day up until 7pm they will send a guy out to deliver it to your house whenever you specify (within reason).

This one had to make me laugh a bit though. The sender is marked as "Please do not bend"様 then struck out and an arrow pointing to 外国 - FOREIGN!

Even though it was actually from within Japan, the poor postman, credit to him, gave a go at reading who it was from, carefully wrote it down then probably thought, "That's an odd name... ahhh SHITE  ! Acchh its from someone foreign!"

Made me a chuckle a bit, what if there was a "Mr Please Do not Bend",a kind of very brittle, stiff upright character; unmovable neck, rotating his whole body through life.

Everyday situations being extremely fragile.

"Hey ken I'd like you to meet someone this is Mr Please Do Not Bend, he's from FOREIGN"

"Ah Hi there! Nice to meet you" motions to shake hands.

"DON'T TOUCH HIM HE'LL BREAK !" introducer screams and pulls away hand

"Sorry I should have guessed, My apologies"
 
 
Posted by sasqwach at June 28, 2009 3:27 PM | Permalink
 
  喫煙所-きつえんしょ-smoking areas

Much like the rest of the world, Japan is slowly catching up on the current anti smoking trends.

Though 30% of the population are smokers compared to a lowly 18% in the states, smoking in public areas is beginning to be frowned upon.

Recent provision of 喫煙所 smoking areas gives smokers an area to obey "smoking manners". Many areas now prohibit smoking while walking in public most notably Akihabara, where you can receive a 5,000 yen fine for having a "lit cigarette". Strange how that term has entered the lexicon of "danger" words, you would think it was a "loaded gun".

Still, it makes sense in areas as condensely crowded as Akiba.

Banned smoking in restaurants, bars and cafes is still a long way away; Starbucks in Japan is one of the few countries left in the world where you can enjoy the age old combo classic of "a cup of joe and a smoke" without venturing to an outside ashtray.

 
 
Posted by sasqwach at November 4, 2008 8:01 PM | Permalink
 
  Cruising the Anime City

Thumbnail image for DSCN0462.JPGPicked this up at Tower records recently, by the infamous uber-otaku-geek Patrick Macias, it's a real treat and geek porn at its best.

The book looks at and celebrates the whole spectrum of otaku (geek) culture from the staples of Anime and Games to the more obscure Moe* and Dojinshi* in the form of a guide and explanatory FAQ like format.

I would hazard a guess to say Macias has primarily aimed the book at the Otaku tourist, visiting Japan for the sole purpose of shopping.

Click here to continue reading this entry...
 
 
Posted by sasqwach at May 31, 2008 6:28 PM | Permalink
 
  Living in Japan

You know you've been living in Japan too long when you start to seek self help books about the process itself.

When living in a new country one can be inundated with "guide" books giving eating, drinking and tourist recommendations but very little is available in terms of the psychological aspects of living in a new country, especially a country as alien to westerners as Japan. (Or even more alien to Scottish "cheuchters" like me)

Click here to continue reading this entry...
 
 
Posted by sasqwach at October 6, 2007 5:05 PM | Permalink
 
  jellyfish

Ts2b0433.jpg

The Japanese word for Jellyfish is 海月- くらげ - kurage (interesting note : means "sea moon") not to be confused with からあげ-karage which means fried foods (especially chicken)

So next time your in Japanese company, dining out, and you say "This jellyfish is lovely! I wish I could eat it every day!" make sure you know what you're talking about and don't look like a massive fanny like I did...

*>_<*

Similarly avoid entering sea waters with poisonous "fried chicken"...

That aside, Jellyfish are fascinating blobs aren't they? The same could be said for us humans!

Photos of "Kasai Water Park Fried Chicken Exhibition....(Good name for a band...)

 
 
Posted by sasqwach at April 10, 2007 4:41 PM | Permalink
 
  Botanicals

Ts2b0451.jpg Ts2b0453.jpg Ts2b0455.jpg

My lady and I went to the local botanical gardens recently. Whereas most botanical gardens are expensively heated glass domes guzzling non renewable heating fuel to propagate plant growth, in Japan they do it that little bit different. The site of the gardens was built on land filled with non burnable rubbish and next to the gardens, a local incinerator for burnable garbage provided the heating system to generate the tropical temperatures required for plant growth. First time I'd ever seen a real cocoa plant, the smell was choco-tastically intoxicating; I wonder what I would be like to eat one raw ?

 
 
Posted by sasqwach at March 24, 2007 7:55 PM | Permalink
 
  worst toilet on the planet earth

Ts2b0103.jpg

Often I pass through Ueno station and sometimes have had the experience of using what I like to call "Silent Hill Toilet" just have a look at the picture...I don't know if its the strong ammonia urine smell, the cockroaches, the years of grime encrusted in the walls or the slightly surgical looking bin...If Masashi Tsuboyama is looking for inspiration for graphics textures for Silent Hill 5 , he should visit this toilet : It gives me the heebies every time I use it.

 
 
Posted by sasqwach at January 8, 2007 5:00 PM | Permalink
 
  Criminal - げしゅにん だ!

I dunno who this guy is, but he's "wanted", whoever he is.

He's got a missing left digit indicating former (ie disgraced) lower gangland connections clearly outlined on the poster.

Thing is I haven't seen this poster anywhere other than Toei Shinjuku line or Hanzomon line ,since its limited to the subway I'm guessing he's a bum fiddler on crowded trains, added to my initial kanji misreadings, I interpreted him as a "chikan" - 痴漢 - meaning "pervert" as the sound "chi" (the latter part of his name) looks like 地.(see the poster and do the math...)

Funnily though the two kanji that make the words pervert in Japanese individual meanings are "foolish" and "sino" or "Chinese"...offensive no ?

Whoever he is, if YOU are travelling on shinjuku line, be on the look out for an ex yakuza Chinese pervert and turn him in so that regular fully digited Japanese men can hassle girls in short skirts...But seriously I wonder what a bedragled looking tierd guy like this could have done to have sparked so many wanted posters ?

 
 
Posted by sasqwach at July 4, 2006 4:56 PM | Permalink
 
  Goodbye Matsudo - 松戸さよなら

Ts2b0320.jpg Ts2b0320.jpg Ts2b0320.jpg

It was with sadness and expectation I wrote this entry - I finally leave Chiba prefecture, and Matsudo, my home of my 2 years in Japan.

Click here to continue reading this entry...
 
 
Posted by sasqwach at January 29, 2006 4:59 PM | Permalink
 
  家庭画報 - Kateigaho



I've long seen this magazine in Tower, HMV and other foreign selling bookstores in Japan, so I went the whole hog and picked up a few of their back issues.

It's billed as Japans International Arts & Culture magazine, while it does have some very culturally interesting articles, some of the arts features are definitely aimed at more feminine audiences - I just can't whip enthusiasm up for new ranges of Jewellery with traditional Japanese designs. Saying that it does feature some nice articles on general design, food and architecture.

I'm not sure I'm its target audience, seems aimed at the Rich Roppongi expatriate crowd, though it does have interest for common old Joes like myself.

Definitely one to subscribe to if I ever return back to blighty

 
 
Posted by sasqwach at January 24, 2006 5:07 PM | Permalink
 
  じょばんせん - joban line

  

For almost the entire duration of my time living in Japan, 今年の6月に3年になります、光陰矢のごとしだね - 3 years this year in June, time flies ! I had to commute to and from work on the "Joban" train line. Running from Ueno in central Tokyo to small country towns in the North such as Mito and Torride. It's one of the busiest commuter lines leaving Tokyo region into Chiba; the less sophisticated suburban country sprawl adjoining Tokyo.

Click here to continue reading this entry...
 
 
Posted by sasqwach at January 6, 2006 4:57 PM | Permalink
 
  yabashira park - 八柱公園


えどじだいぽいそば屋さん

Nice reflection on the lake

Soba and Tempura

At weekends to get away from all the gray concrete of Shibuya, I've been visiting a local park in nearby Yabashira in Chiba Prefecture. What I thought would be the usual excuse of a park (a small stretch of grass) turned out to be a very large park with lake, forest paths and a beautifully situated wooden built soba restaurant. Despite it being September the weather was clement enough to sit at the small wooden tables outside the soba shop. Without a sniff of the 21st Century around us we could have swore we were back in the Edo period (江戸時代 - えどじだい) with the old styled traditional wooden houses 木造 (もくぞう) next to the park. People often talk of "disappearing Japan" (消えて行く日本文化 - きえていくにほんぶんか) but it still very much exists in small pockets here and there. I definitely plan to return to this park again.

 
 
Posted by sasqwach at September 15, 2005 8:03 PM | Permalink
 
  誕生日 Birthday Party

IMG_2196.JPGJust got back from Golden Week holiday and got all the friends round for a mexican cook out and console tomfoolery.

The menu was Salad, Quesedillas, Salsa, Beef Chilli, Guacamole, Chicken Fajitas and CAKE !

As you can see the NES  emulator was providing much nostalgic entertainment.Known as Famicom in Japan I think every Japanese person in Japan has a "Famicon" favourite or memory.
Everyone was exchanging "you do it that way !? that's stupid, you miss that block with the super mushroom !"

I always was useless at original Mario Bros, I'm more a SNES Super Mario Land guy...
<excuses-excuses>

By 5 o clock I was exhausted from cooking and all the eating, beer and cake, I ended up falling asleep and waking at 10 where everybody was still in full flow! By that time the PS2 EyeToy was on the go and everyone was bustling about the room, avoiding virtual punches or dancing in time to some virtual disco diva.I joined in for an hour or so but was knackered and then back to bed...Must be getting old.... though the party theme had a mental age of about 14. =)

 
 
Posted by sasqwach at May 1, 2005 12:29 PM | Permalink
 
  Christmas - お帰り

IMG_1660.JPG It's been 1 year and 6 months since I've set foot in Scotland.

Last year for Christmas I opted to stay in Japan, after all it had only been 6 months since I arrived and I didn't want to return home only to get homesick.

So this Christmas I felt a return home was in order and would also be introducing my girlfriend to my parents.

This isn't her first time in UK but first time in Scotland, so I think she will be quite surprised what a remote area I come from.

Click here to continue reading this entry...
 
 
Posted by sasqwach at December 30, 2004 11:19 PM | Permalink
 
  A Proper Job !

d-588a31c3.jpg
or "How I made it out of the Eikaiwa Ghetto !"

Well its now no secret; I have finally returned to the bosom of IT and gained what I would consider proper employment in Japan. The company is in Shibuya, which is quite a distance from where I live in Chiba (the burbs hick town of Tokyo). Commuting is going to take about 2hours a day each way, so thats 4hrs travelling everyday. Core time is 10 till 7, hour for lunch, half Japanese and Foreign staff (about 50/50 mix).
Its quite an interestign mix as the development team are all foreigners; American, Australian, English,French & Scottish. Very multicultural ! Sounds like there could almost be a punchline or a joke some where in there.The staff are really friendly and easy going and its great being able to speak and practice Japanese with my co-workers.

The work is mainly PHP and its quite tricky learning the ropes again. 1 year and 6 months of teaching English can crush those core skills ! Its been 3 weeks now and seems like I'm settling in.

At the moment look like I will be here for a good while after many months of surfing for job vacancies, many of which seemed inapplicable I was invited for interview and passed after 2 weeks notice. I'm finally FREE from eikaiwa !

or so I thought, until I tried to hand my notice in.....flame on

Click here to continue reading this entry...
 
 
Posted by sasqwach at November 29, 2004 3:46 PM | Permalink
 
  引越しと転職- Moving & Job Change

Thumbnail image for DCP_1419.JPGThumbnail image for DCP_1418.JPGThumbnail image for DCP_1420.JPGFinally I have got round to moving out of my eikaiwa (english school) company provided housing, almost 8 months of living in the above apartment. When I arrived at what was described as "semi furnished apartment" I wasn't expecting the above.....If you want to know what its REALLY like living in eikawa housing, read on.

Click here to continue reading this entry...
 
 
Posted by sasqwach at November 15, 2004 9:10 PM | Permalink
 
  NHK Debut

















My 15 seconds of fame on NHK's evening news as a "and finally..." spot.
Click the play icon on the image above to view.


Click here to continue reading this entry...
 
 
Posted by sasqwach at August 15, 2004 3:13 PM | Permalink
Recent
articles - 4
books - 7
comedy - 8
comics - 2
culture - 20
food - 10
gaming - 10
living - 18
media - 4
music - 9
parody
programming - 4
sex - 3
study - 9
tech - 7
toys
travel - 13
tv & film - 7
work - 11
Archive a
3 8 7 6 4
5 5 5